“Save yourself and the world will follow” – Lilism # 1
You want to be helpful to people but you’re not sure how. You see people in need and guilt rises up.
“I don’t have the time”
“I don’t have the funds”
“I’m a bad person because I’m not doing enough to help and I have no idea where to start”
I meet people all the time who wax eloquent about wanting to help others. I appreciate them. I admire their desire, dedication and devotion to their ideals but I often don’t respect them. As harsh as that seems, the reality is most people aren’t positioned to help anyone and too often people are helpful for the wrong reasons.
They want to be seen as a good person.
They want to impress someone; father, mother, teacher, potential significant other.
They want to feel good about themselves.
They want God (insert any deity or higher power you like) to approve of them.
Many people want to help others but the hard truth is, they can’t help themselves. If you really want to help other people, as genuinely as is humanly possible, there are steps to take.
Remember the most important thing the airline stewards tell you to do if the plane’s going to crash.
“Put your own air mask on first.”
We might all agree that it’s tough to help other people when you can’t help yourself and yet, even when we’re at our lowest point, our humanity kicks in when we see someone in need or hurting. We want to help but our air mask is leaking.
This article is not to suggest that you shouldn’t do what you can, when you can, and to the best of your current ability. It’s more of a long-term strategy for being really effective in helping others and, in doing so, yourself.
In the novel “The Cider House Rules” John Irving’s character, Dr. Larch, tells his young assistant Homer that he must “be of use”. That concept struck a chord with me and has helped shape my life. But to be of use is no easy task. It requires training, much like that of an athlete. If you want to create a life devoted to “being of use” here are some things you’ll need to do.
- Read
Reading gives you perspectives other than your own. Your ideas and ideals get shaped by life experience but their pliable. Reading is a form of exercise for your ideas. Read a lot and read a variety of things.
Novels, and plays allow a better understanding of human behavior and human nature. Biographies teach us what other people have gone through, how they’ve handled the struggles of their life and the victories. Knowing how to be a good winner is just as important as knowing how to fail with grace.
Newspaper and newsfeeds give you a fuller understanding of what the world is going through. It’s a lot, trust me, and it won’t often be pretty information. It’ll help you gain real perspective on problems. Most of ours are #firstworldproblems. That flat tire, broken nail or the hottie that turned you down at the bar won’t seem quite as important if you see yourself in the whole of the world, not the microcosm in which you live.