Life is just a series of waves, it’s all about how you navigate them.
Don’t surfers seem to have it all figured out? Laying in the sun on their cool surfboards, waiting for the perfect wave, they never seem concerned about the hum drum, every day, world.
You work hard every day and lay awake at night stressing your finances, your relationships, your health and well-being.
How will I get these bills paid?
Are my kids going to turn out okay?
Will I ever get that better job, that nice girlfriend, that new car?
What the heck is this mole on my neck about?
Surfers appear to be a different breed of human. Why?
In this blog series, we’ll explore 5 things they know that you might not.
- Sharks don’t really want to eat you.
Sharks want to eat fish, not people. We taste bad to them. Liver and onions bad. They’re not lurking in the water waiting for us so they can pig out. If all you worry about is sharks attacking you, you’ll never surf at all. Sharks sometimes attack surfers because they wear wet suits and that can confuse those toothy bastards.
“Looks like a seal, moves like a seal, must be a seal.”
But when they get a little taste of neoprene, synthetic rubber… not a seal.
Disappointment.
“Never equate with malice what might better be explained by stupidity”. Sharks may not always be that smart. They have a ton of very sharp teeth, but no matter how scary they look, they aren’t malicious.
In reality, neither are people. People are not out to get you any more than sharks are. Sometimes they take a chunk out of your leg, or worse, your heart, but most of the time, if they do, they get a bad taste in their mouth, just like a shark does and they spit the chunk out.
Don’t assume that people are plotting against you and lying in wait for you to be in the deeper water so they can bite you in the ass. People are scared, just like you are and they aren’t all the brightest bulbs in the four pack. We’re all swimming in murky waters.
Just like with shark attacks, the chances of becoming a statistic is pretty unlikely. Terrorists are not waiting for you at the mall or at Disney World or pretty much anywhere. There are bad people just like there are stupid sharks and yes, they can hurt you but you can’t let that fact paralyze you or you’ll do nothing, go nowhere and live in constant fear.
It’s okay to be careful. I’m not saying it’s an altogether bad thing.
Things can happen when you’re surfing. Remain calm.
Thrashing about makes sharks think you’re a scared fish and they will attack.
If something goes wrong, get to shore as quickly as you can and keep your wits about you but do it as smoothly and calmly as you can.
Call for help. It’s okay to ask. There really can be safety in numbers so It’s cool to have a buddy system in place. Surfing alone is not a good idea, in the ocean or in life.
The main thing is, no matter what, don’t stay out of the water. It’s where all the cool things happen.
- Every life crisis can be summed up by how you handle the waves
There are basically three types of waves.
The first kind is the one we like the best. They’re the reason we surf, the ones that look to be a good bet, so you take your shot and go with the wave. Sometimes it’s a great ride, smooth, exhilarating, exciting or at least pleasant.
Sound familiar?
The second kind is the wave that’s just not quite right. It’s not probably overwhelming in size. In fact, it might be a little small or it might come at a time when you’re not ready for it so it doesn’t speak to you. It’s not a good wave to ride but it’s one you can easily go up and over. You point your board out to sea and roll over the top of the wave and down the back side of it letting it go to shore without you.
Not your wave.
Let it go and don’t regret it. Surfers use their instincts and they know another wave is coming, no worries.
The third kind is the big wave, the one that’s too big to surf, too big to go over. The one with the bad timing. You’re in the wrong place for this one. This is the one that’s about to break on your head and crush you if you don’t do something. So, you do the only sensible thing you can do.
You go through it.
Sometimes it’s not so bad to go through that big, mean, rough wave and you come out the other side with ease, relieved. Sometimes that wave is so big you feel like you will never see the end of it, never see the daylight on the other side or ever catch your breath. Sometimes you think, “I can’t make it.”
But you do.
You know the waves I’m talking about.
Your mother dies.
Your kid gets sick.
You lose your job or house or the love of your life.
Those are big waves and they never seem to end but you know what?
They do.
You get through them and Dory was right, “Just Keep Swimmin”
- Surfers surf because they need to.
There are things in life we have to do, want to do, are expected to do, try to do and like to do but there are a few things, a very few, that we NEED to do. Those are the things we cannot, not do. We have to do them like we have to breath. Real surfers get this. They need to surf to exist.
Find those things you need to do. It’s what separates the greats from the goods. Great actors sometimes hate acting. They’ll tell you they don’t want to act but they need to. Dancers push themselves beyond human limits, athletes ruin their bodies.
People who are really philanthropic or genuinely heroic need to help others. It’s a burning desire to do good, to be of use.
If it’s not your profession, if it’s not your relationships, what is it that drives you, that fuels you? What do you run on? People are like cars, they need fuel and not just food and water. They need to have a driving force. So, surfers need waves. They need the adrenaline rush that only comes from surfing.
What gives you that rush?
Find that and let it fuel you. You’ll run like a well-oiled piston engine.
- When the waves are really, good, surfers stop what they’re doing and get wet.
Surfers live by this. They walk out of their work, skip school, skip meals. They just surf because the really, amazing waves may not soon come again. Maybe never. They live for the moment.
Life happens so fast and we always assume there will be more time, more waves, more sunny, perfect days to surf. And most likely there will be but sometimes you have to drop what you’re doing and get wet.
Take that day off to be with your kids.
Put the phone down and look at your wife. No! Really look at her.
Be present. Take time, take a break.
Don’t let all the best days go unnoticed and unsurfed.
- The best prize in surfing is being able to surf some more
Surfers compete.
At least lots of them do and they like to win. There are prizes and endorsements and money and … girls or guys who want to be with surfers. That’s great. But at the end of the day and after you’re too old to compete, the surfing still happens.
There are all kinds of surfers and most of them don’t win trophies. They don’t get to be on TV or in movies, they don’t have their names painted on surfing equipment but they still surf.
It’s about the surfing, not about winning anything. Not about being the best one in the water. When you surf, it’s just you on your board doing your own thing. No one can choose your waves for you and no one has the same experience you have on those waves even if they’re surfing right next to you.
It’s a singular experience yet you share it with so many things.
Other people
The sun beating down on you
The fish swimming unknowingly below you
The clouds floating above you
The wind pushing you along… and of course
The water itself
They share your experience but it’s not their experience, it’s yours. Lucky is the person who realizes that the real joy in surfing is just the showing up to get wet.
So, I beg you:
Show up every day
Get wet every day
Be present every day
You won’t regret it. No matter what happens you’ll have won the big prize.
You’ll get to keep on surfing!